I am not a supermom

Not even close. I love my kids but damn, motherhood aint easy! Having twins is definitely a challenge and having Bubba on the spectrum means that challenge is even greater. Bubba is definitely high functioning which I thank the powers that be for every day. I am not one of those autism warrior moms. Nope. I do not want the test of having a child who is aggressive, smears feces, and is a threat to his sister. I know that it would be a test I would totally fail. In fact, I recently got admonished because I stated that if I had a child like that, I would put them in residential care. Oh my, is that ever something it is not okay to say, especially on a page about autism. I was accused of being a bad mom, and that just pissed me off. Why is it that in some communities dealing with autism, it seems like people feel that children on the spectrum should be loved MORE than their neuro typical siblings? That seems absurd to me. I love Bubba and Little equally, and I would never allow one to put the other's safety or happiness at risk. If that makes me a bad mom, so be it. I guess I just don't view autism as being a gift, or "sparkly" or some fantastic dream. I view it as something that my son will have to fight through, and I will always be there to help him. Autism doesn't make him special, he is special to me because he is my son. Both my husband and I expect the same things from him that we expect from his sister, we don't go out of our way to make things easier for him. I don't know if we're right or wrong in doing this, but it's our way and it seems to work...at least for now.

walkability

Lately I've been thinking about a photo exercise that a friend of mine did where she took photos of everything within a two block radius of her home. The idea was to see what you lived near, and gain an appreciation for your surroundings. She lives in a great area of New Orleans near many awesome cafes and shops so her photos were lovely. If I were to complete that same exercise though, all I'd get would be photos of houses and maybe a gas station or two. Where we live, you have to drive everywhere. It's a real pain in the ass, especially with twin two year olds. I remember when my husband and I were moving here from Chicago, we just wanted a house so badly we didn't think much about just what sort of lifestyle we were moving into. Now it's all we think about but we're trapped. The down housing market means we're stuck in this house for a while unless something miraculous happens. I know as soon as we can get out we'll be moving somewhere more friendly to a pedestrian lifestyle. I think these days many people are finding that it's better to have a smaller space in a more dynamic area than a larger one in the middle of nowhere. I just wish that was a lesson we had learned earlier.

So, lately I have been thinking about downsizing. Before I get into the details of my plan, let me tell you a bit about where we are now. We currently live in a 1150 sqft home with 3 bedrooms and 1.5 baths, and a large basement. We have a pretty small lot, but it's big enough to have a backyard with a swing set and playhouse for the kids and a patio area for us. The thing is, I'm not that crazy about where we live. We're in a suburb and our house is in an area where it's really not feasible to walk to much. I'd like to be in a more walkable location, maybe even in an area closer to my husband's work. Poor daddy currently commutes over an hour each way and it sucks. The problem is that houses closer to his work are expensive or just awful. I've been reading a lot about living mortgage free by downsizing, and it has me thinking...maybe we could buy a plot of land in a better area now with some of our savings, and then when (forgive the morbidness) my mom passes and I sell her place, we can take the proceeds and use it to build a small house on the same land. I've been eyeing some plans on Tumbleweed Tiny House's website and I really like the looks of the B-53. It's 874 sqft with no basement, so it'd be a good deal smaller than our current house. I really like the appeal of having something we help build from top to bottom, and right now we could get a pretty nice plot of land near hubby's work for about $16,000. If we moved, we'd be in a much more walkable area with better schools. I also like that downsizing means getting rid of everything you don't need...and also means you consume less overall. Still, most people think the idea of living in a house under 1000 sqft with 2 kids is nuts. Anyhow, it has me thinking. What is your idea of a dream home? Is bigger always better? Here is a link to the B-53 http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/products/b53/#ad-image-0

In case you wondered why I titled this blog as I did...here are just a few of the yet to be completed radio projects my husband has. We easily have 20 others that have been completed and are on display in the rest of our house.

Pull up a chair

I am totally new to this blogging thing. I mean completely and utterly clueless. I mainly started it as a way to record my thoughts and capture the crazy and wonderful moments with my kids so that one day, when I am not exhausted from chasing them around and dealing with the chaos that is twin two year olds, I can go back and read the entries and throw a little celebration that I have survived with my sanity *mostly* intact. Little and Bubba are a mega handful these days. Little is the drama queen of the family and is 100% into the terrible twos. She can be sweet as honey but if something doesn't go her way...lookout! Bubba is usually my sweet, well behaved momma's boy. He was diagnosed with mild autism right before their 2nd birthday, and that totally crushed daddy and I for a while. We picked ourselves up though and started him on speech, OT, and ABA therapy and he's doing really well! He's gone from having no words to having about 20 in a matter of a month or two. It's really great watching him blossom. We have loads of work to do still, but I'm feeling really good about his chances in life. I recently had made a decision not to send the kids to daycare, but rather to keep them home and start the more intensive daily therapy. I got a bit of guff for it, but I just didn't feel like they were ready and there was no real need for it since I don't work. Now I totally feel like I made the right call. I see two happy kids who are both making progress, and I make sure to take them to weekly playgroups so they can learn some social skills. I think I just need to learn to go with my gut more when it comes to motherhood. In many ways I have felt so ill prepared for it all...first for twins, then for raising a special needs child. Now I am finding that somewhere along the way I started to really figure it out, and that I'm actually not half bad at it all. Anyhow, I don't know if anyone will be reading this besides me but, if you are then welcome, pull up a chair and let's chat.